Giddiness – oh, what a great feeling. Remember experiencing it when you were a kid?. Perhaps you’d spun around too fast with your friends,
and found yourself tripping over your own feet, falling on the grass, but laughing so hard too??. Or maybe you hopped on to one of those little spinning around pieces of equipment at the playground, and again, hopped off feeling quite unsteady on your feet?. The last time I felt giddy was just after my fiancé proposed and I had said yes – it was a mixture of surprise and overwhelming love. I didn’t have that unsteady feeling, but instead, all of these visions began entering my head. Me, as the perfect bride, with my perfect bridesmaids, walking towards my perfect groom (who, let’s face it, was already perfect anyway), him standing with his perfect attendants, and of course, it was a perfect setting, with perfect weather. The ceremony would unfold perfectly, and the reception would be – yes, you guessed
it – perfect!. We would then, of course, jet off on our perfect honeymoon....
Does any of this sound familiar??. Um, excuse me – don’t look away from the screen – you KNOW these thoughts have entered your head at one time or another. And guess what – that is more than OK, and absolutely more than reasonable – and here’s why….
Once I’d come down from my post-engagement high, I hit the ground with an earth shattering thud – wedding planning took over my life and consumed every single second of every single day. Every waking moment was taken up with me thinking to myself ‘today, I simply must do…..’, or ‘I need to remember to contact so-and-so about such-and-such’. It didn’t take long for my perfect visions to blow up in my less than perfect little face. The more weeks and months passed by, the more my anxiety levels increased, thinking ‘I’m not going to have enough time to get things sorted’. I couldn’t help but feel that some events had occurred, which were out to sabotage my wedding (even though this simply wasn’t the case). I had a complete and utter meltdown one afternoon. I arrived home from work to find an empty house (this didn’t help) – couple this with my ever consuming wedding planning brain not switching off, it resulted in me slumping to the floor, sobbing like a child who wasn’t getting their own way. When my fiancé walked through the door to discover this situation unfolding, I managed to somehow slow my talking down, to tell him that I felt like ‘they’ were destroying anything and everything to do with our special day. I distinctly remember wailing ‘I had visions of what our day was going to look like, and they’re taking it away from me – I’m watching those visions float away’. Recounting all of this, yes, it sounded and seemed absolutely hideous, but at the time, I felt like I had no control over my own thoughts and reactions. As I sit back, reading this, even I’m wondering who ‘they’ were – it’s almost like I was referring to a bunch of wedding aliens who entered my head as soon as I was sporting an engagement ring, burrowed in to my brain and stayed there for the duration of the planning period….taking over and declaring that they were now running every single function of my body….
I went through the normal amount of expected ups and downs during the planning process, but I think the biggest roller coaster ride I didn’t realize I’d paid my ticket for was the rising and falling of my expectations. As I pointed out at the beginning of this article, I wanted everything to be perfect. I then had to be completely honest, and settle for hoping the day would go OK. The more problems I encountered, the more I kept thinking to myself – oh my god, we’ll be lucky if we even GET to the wedding day. I also had to own up to some pretty disappointing behaviour, which was uncomfortable and confronting – the hardest thing was apologising to my fiancé for my outbursts. He would always respond with ‘I love you’, but I’m sure many times, he thought to himself – this girl is losing her mind. So, ladies - when you hear yourself say ‘I just want everything to be perfect’ –that’s OK!!.
Our wedding day, including all the preparation in the morning (ie us girls having our hair and make-up done), was perfect. Do you know why?. Because it was perfect for me – yes, there were a few little hiccups, but it just made it all the more memorable. The ceremony was perfect?. Do you know why?. Because it was perfect for us – yes, the celebrant’s microphone stopped working (thankfully, my fiancé and I were both wearing wireless microphones, supplied by our videographer, so everything is completely audible on our wedding video). And, most importantly, the way my husband-to-be looked at me as I approached him, my Dad on one side giving me away, and my Mum on the other. His expression was a mixture of pride, happiness and love – such overwhelming love. Those emotions completely enveloped me when I took my place next to him, and we began saying the words to each other, which would eventually bind us together as husband and wife. That part, right there, was perfect, and I will remember the look in his eyes and the expression on his face, when he turned around, for the rest of my life....
My name is Lindy Douglas (nee Scanlan), and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this article, and can take at least one thing away from it….